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I don't want to be too self critical but in most sexual encounters I am at least an hour ahead of my partner, its a male problem, think of me like Prague. There's no punch line to that xxx I'm afraid. I'm a bit sleepy still, so just think of me like Prague, I am Prague, nice to meet you. Normally I am a person with a hugely creative mind but for some reason I can't get my thoughts together to create a concise and dynamic ad. Something must be wrong with me, my brain feels suffocated, as if all the blood is rushing somewhere else. I daren't pull back the cover just in case my feet have swelled to xxx times their normal size. Frustration ultimately also leads to haste, the problem of course is that by the time I have written a proper ad explaining what I was looking for the moment will have passed. Even if you... 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I'm going to hold back for a while until I have given you all time to consider your responses and get in touch. If you haven't yet made up your mind and need a little more encouragement let me lay it down for you. You know what I mean, in the way that waiters at expensive restaurants list the ingredients and cooking methods of a dish for half an hour and when they have finished you think to yourself..... Wow, he just described a Doner Kebab and he expects me to pay x euro for it. So hear is my best effort at increasing my value. If at the end you think to yourself, 'hey I can pick up this cheap crap in any bar!', think again. Most random strangers you'll meet are far better then me; don't put them down, what have they ever done to you? If we were to meet I would of course compliment you on your hair, clothes, face, body and shoes. That's a given, even if I haven't looked at any of them, it just makes people feel nice. After sex I normally like to pretend to listen to what you are saying and show sympathy for what a bastard your last boyfriend was. I can also hear complaints about many other subjects and appear to be interested. Normally I will stroke your back a bit too, I'm not sure why I do that, its maybe as a sort of apology for not making you cum, sorry about that. If you would like to be involved but not have to experience the crushing disappointment of my sexual performance you can always help me via the medium of pictures and emails. Is it a strictly male thought that a woman would somehow get turned on by the thought of me cracking on off over their pictures? I can't imagine a woman sat with a picture of my little friend, a magnifying glass in xxx hand busily working away with the other. There are so many things in the world I am wrong about but I have a feeling that this just isn't xxx of them. Anyway, I feel the need to move on a little, either the sun is setting very very fast and very early or I have a few problems with my sundial that need taking care of. Am I over analysing this? Perhaps I should just get it done and move on to something new today, there is other stuff I could be doing. I can't think of much at the moment but I'm sure there is something that needs my attention, beer maybe, world peace, patenting the cock clock idea? I realise that I haven't made the best job of selling myself here so I will give it xxx last shot before I shoot. With my historic center filled with old churches and architecture of the eighteenth century I am a beautiful place to spend a long weekend or a longer cultural visit. I attract people from across Europe and the world who come for my chic cafes, bustling markets and energetic night life. For more than three hundred years I have simply been know as the jewel of Europe...... Ah crap that's bloody Prague again isn't it. Fuck it. 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